You must be aware of your task in this regard:
– You need to teach your child independence, not only in everyday life activities and behavior.
But, above all, independence in thinking and feeling, as a precursor and condition of human physical activity.
That is, it is necessary to understand that this or that body movement of a child – his behavioral activity – is preceded by his thoughts. Or, simply, feelings, and, often, emotions.
How to bring up a boy to be independent? Raising a boy to be independent is a long and contradictory process. This, too, the educator needs to know.
What are the principles of parenting here:
One must give the boy FREEDOM of thought and action. Of course, within reason: not allowing permissiveness.
That is, dangerous for the mental and physical health of the child’s independent action.
There are two extremes of how to bring up a boy, a son:
– Allow the child complete or almost complete freedom.
Like, let him grow up independent and creative.
The question, then, is: What is the parent-educator for? If you trust in the abilities, literally, of a child who is not yet intelligent and nurtured.
You trust him to live by his feelings and thoughts. And to educate himself – that’s how it works.
In my opinion, the absolute truth: the inculcation of independence to the boy, should only be under the control of the teacher.
– Forbid or minimize the freedom of the child.
He is too young to have his own opinion and to do something without being told to do it by adults.
The consequence of such total control over the child’s life is not only his/her lack of independence in everything.
But also a delay in the development of his self-awareness, consciousness, sensitivity – his personality. And a delay, a lag in physical and mental development.
That is, in the realities of life, the upbringing of independence of a boy, a son is carried out according to this principle:
– Do everything, within the limits that I, responsible for your life, allow you.
And what about independence in feelings and thoughts of the child, including his emotional reactions to life situations?
How to raise a boy, a son.
Independence without responsibility is harmful
It is quite obvious that a person’s independence is WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITY, not only for his thoughts and actions. But also for feelings and even emotions, leads to his permissiveness, anarchy and antisociality.
Not to mention the damage to the spiritual world of man, the inadequacy of his personality and his mental unhealthiness.
Therefore, knowing how to bring up the boy son to be independent, you should know that, in parallel, you need to teach him to be responsible for himself.
Responsibility comes only when the person, including the child, has in his head such provisions:
– Has ideas, knows what can and cannot be done in his life;
– has a system of values – morality, even the most primitive one, knows what is good and what is bad – is condemned by people and by himself/herself;
– understands that he will be punished for his transgressions – actions contrary to his ideas and morals. By the condemnation of people or the anguish of his own conscience.
Obviously, the answers to the questions of how to bring up a boy, a son, so that he is independent and responsible for his life, lie within the plane of the above-mentioned provisions.
That is, when bringing up a boy to be independent and responsible, it is necessary:
– both situationally, and by the method of conversation and exhortation, and by example, literally, BELIEVE him all this. And independence, and morality, and responsibility.
And knowledge of HOW to live and how not to live.
How to raise a boy, a son? – So he can solve life’s problems.
You can raise a boy, a son, endowed with all the virtues and attributes that seemingly will make him a man. And a good man, too.
BUT, if he doesn’t know how to solve life’s problems, which will inevitably happen in his life. That is: you don’t know how to raise a boy, a son.
That is, you have to instill in him the algorithms for solving life’s problems.
What algorithms? And you, I’m sorry, should know them yourself. Including if you’re dealing with the task of raising a boy as a man.
For this very upbringing is a complete problem, as a difficult and contradictory process.
You don’t know the rules of solving life’s problems, or you can’t solve them? So, what, then, can you teach your boy, your son!
How to raise a boy, a son
How to raise a boy, a son? – Give him your life experience.
Every person, including children, has life experiences, all kinds of different ones. And the older a person is and lives longer, then, of course, this experience is more and more diverse.
How to bring up a boy, a son in this regard? Share your experience with him. In general and, in particular, HOW TO BE and HOW NOT TO BE a man.
Even if you are not a man, or you are not a man, being a woman. BUT you can’t not have this experience.
Small or big, positive or negative, that’s another question. Enrich your experience by raising your son, your boy.
Including by reading articles like this one, which you are reading now: How to bring up a boy, a son, to become a man.
Of course, this too needs to be clearly understood:
– Your life experience is no guarantee that your child won’t make the same mistakes you did. Or will achieve some success in life using your life experience.
No, of course: he has his own life, and he should and can live it in his own way.
BUT, a head enriched with knowledge of another person is always better than an empty head, and a life “from scratch” – without taking into account other people’s life experience.
Especially if this knowledge will be presented to him purposefully and with the knowledge of how to bring up a boy, a son.
How to bring up a boy, a son? – Treat him like a boy, like a man.
The logic here is simple and obvious: if you treat a boy, a son, not as a boy – a future man, then how will he become one?
If he does become a man, then only in spite of his upbringing, as an exception.
Nevertheless, strange as it may seem, there are quite a few women-mothers, but also men-fathers, who do exactly that:
– Or don’t treat the boy-son as such, but as a sexless creature of nurture. Making no distinction between girl-daughters and boy-sons.
– Or, thinking that a boy, since he was born as such and not as a girl, should prove himself as such.
In general: you do not know how to raise a boy, a son? At a minimum, treat him as a boy, a future man. Do not prevent him to become one.
A boy, a man must be active
How to bring up a boy, a son? MOTHER him to be active.
Unlike a girl-woman, genetically and socially, a boy-man is destined to be active.
To be active not only in his life, in all spheres. But to be socially active – more than a woman, to participate in the life of large and small – the surrounding society.
Do not let the boy be lazy to think and act. He must learn to work with both body and mind from his youngest nails.
And, for example, do not engage in idle pastime, endlessly playing games. Or eating and lying on the couch, instead of socializing and playing sports, or helping out around the house.
In general: a boy’s activity, if you want to, literally, make him a man, is very important. Nurtures the will, and everything else – useful for a boy – a future man.
But along with that and on the basis of that:
Don’t teach the boy not to make mistakes, but teach him to correct them.
The truth is well known: He who makes few mistakes in life himself, and is afraid of everything.
Therefore, any activity of your son will involve his mistakes. Especially if he is not susceptible to group consciousness. And, as a real man, he “gets to everything with his own mind”.
That is, you need to teach, thinking about how to raise a boy, a son:
– To analyze his mistakes, and to draw conclusions so as not to repeat them;
– To be able to admit his mistakes, and to persistently, decisively correct them.
How to teach this? Give hints and help: give examples, show the consequences of mistakes. Talk about how they can be avoided and corrected, and the like.