Mojito Mother: Keeping a Mother’s Dream Alive

Posted by Mike Collins on May 12, 2011 in Featured, Random Thoughts | 2 comments

Guest Post by Caz Makepeace of Mojito Mother

Mojito Mother: Keeping a Mother’s Dream Alive

 

“You’ll have to settle down now…. You won’t be able to travel anymore…. That’s the end of your dreams now…”

Sometimes I feel as if I am the only Mummy in the world who finds statements like this bizarre. These are the most common statements I have received from the majority of people when they are talking to me about my pregnancies or life as a mother.

Complaints are readily heard from friends of mine who feel as if their lives have now been taken over my dirty diapers, feeding times, lack of sleep and the Wiggles.

Yes. Life does change when you have children, but it does not have to stop. When the greatest love of your life enters your world, they do not have to become the only light that burns brightly. They do not have to be the only thing you now focus on.

Obviously,your children become a very big part of your life, and you have to do all you need to do as a parent who is responsible for raising independent, well balanced children.

There is room in your life to do this and to focus on moving yourself forward to the attainment of your own dreams.

Ihave been living and travelling around the world for 14 years. Just before Kalyra was born, my husband and I returned from a 5 year honeymoon. I was desperately unhappy. I could not cope living a life that did not involve the spirit of the open road.

To add to this heartache came the responses from many people telling me my life was now over.

How could I get up every day and just be a mother? Now I know this may sound harsh. Being a mother is the most important job in the world, and one that I really cherish. I love my daughter more than anything.

But, I could not let this be my only reality. This would make me unhappy and how could this ever benefit my child?

So I decided to find a way to keep my dreams alive as well as being the best mother I could be. I soon discovered I could do both. If I can do it so can you.

Since Kalyra’s birth she has lived in Australia and America and travelled to various places in these countries as well as Fiji and Puerto Rico. She often talks of visiting Africa and Thailand and is more excited than me when we are packing our bags for a new adventure.

My dreams have benefited her life in ways I could never have imagined possible. In keeping my dreams alive I have helped to show her what is possible for herself.

Why is it important to never lose your sense of self when you become a mother?

I find it to be irresponsible as a parent to lose your self-identity once you become a mother or father. (ducking for cover now from the darts.) Bare with me.

You can’t make your life only about your children. What happens to you once they have flown the coop? What happens to your relationship?

I guarantee that if you have given yourself up to just being a mother, when it is time for your children to fly into their own lives, you will do whatever you can to hold them back. You can’t let them go, because what will there then be left for you?

You cannot hold your children back from living their dreams. You gave them life so they could live it. It is up to you to allow them to do this.

Your job as a mother is to show your children the balance between making sacrifices for others and taking time to nurture themselves. The best way to show them this is to be this person. Your children will learn from what you model to them. Nurture your dreams, keep them alive and involve your children as much as you can in them.

It’s one big juggling act

Being a mother is a monumental task that does wear you down. I will never argue against that point. But it is essential that you do not relegate your dreams to the comfort of your couch and the latest reality TV craze.

You have to learn to juggle, you have to learn to prioritize and cull.

What is your dream? What is the most important thing that will help you achieve that dream?

Work out a way to incorporate this into your life as a mother. It might involve multi-tasking, late nights, early mornings, working while your child is at dance lessons, killing your TV, giving up some social gatherings, giving up the need to have an OCD spotless home, and so forth.

If you don’t feel you can make any of these sacrifices then you have not yet found a dream big enough.

I teach 2-3 days a week casually, I run two blogs (one of the most time consuming jobs on the planet) I travel constantly, I go out with friends, I play in the park, I do the dishes, I hang out the laundry… I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

I find a way to manage all these things because I believe enough in my dreams. Any mother can find a way. Women are amazing. They have the ability to be able to do extraordinary things, it’s time more women started realizing the potential they hold and nourish themselves more. Your children need you to do this.

I recently started a mommy blog Mojito Mother. It was born because of what I have spoken about here. I was tired of hearing the stories of women who had sacrificed their entire lives for their children, and feeling resentful and frustrated for it.

Mojito Mother is all about putting the Mojo back into a mother’s life. It’s about learning how to maintain a mother’s sense of self and dreams whilst catering to the demands of being a mum, a wife and woman. It is an uplifting and positive outlook on parenting and life, and simple strategies and tips for creating magic in your life.

I now have a second child on the way. I am already planning our next move, and yes it will be when the baby is little and her first home could be somewhere as exotic as South East Asia.

I still receive the same comments about my life being over.

You’d think people would have learned by now that this is not and will never be my reality.

Bio: When Caz is not sipping mojitos around the world she is writing about her life as a Mojito Mother- laid back, fun, fresh and with a spicy kick! Join her facebook community.

(In just a short couple of months, Mojito Mother has now been included in the Kidspot’s Top 50 Bloggers for 2011 in Australia. Feel free to vote for me to become the Top Blogger in Australia and win a New Ford Territory for the year)

 

Note From Mike: Help Mojito Mother win the Kidspot’s Top 50 Bloggers by Voting and Copying this Article for republishing to your own blog.